Whatever happened to common decency?

Sometimes, I just don't understand how things work.

I was taught that if you were honest, aboveboard, and friendly, people would respect you. They would try to accommodate your requests or your needs. You could count on things getting done if you were polite.

Nowadays, it seems like unless you're an asshole, you can't get things to go your way. If you figure out how to work the system, you can get ahead. If you behave in a way that I would consider normal and decent, people think you're a wimp. You get no respect. People walk all over you. And no one bats an eye.

Shoot, who was it that said, "Nice Guys Finish Last"? They were right. They not only finish last, they get trampled by the crowd of Bad Guys who barged across the finish line not caring what happens to the people they left in their wake.

Yes, it's true. I'm feeling a bit cynical tonight. Or this week. Or maybe it's this year.

Where have we gone wrong?

My mother taught me these things when I was growing up: Be nice. Be considerate. Be cooperative. Play fair. Try to get along. Give other people the benefit of the doubt. I taught my daughter these things and my son-in-law's mother obviously taught him the same.

Here's where has it gotten them. They have played by all the rules for more than 10 months; demonstrated themselves to be excellent parents; done everything that has been asked of them. But in a little more than a week, their foster daughter will be yanked out of their home, in large part because they have been responsible and overall acquiescent, while Children's Services, the biological parents, and a host of other people are playing games and demanding whatever the hell they think they deserve. Whether or not they actually deserve anything.

Here are my son-in-law's words, slightly abridged: 


"I keep coming back to that thing I always say ... it is silly for me to expect anything  from society in general and our government in particular. If you work hard, pay your taxes, take care of your family, and live like a responsible member of society, prepare to be shit upon. Because it will end that way for you every time. The proof is right in front of us, right now: how many breaks has (biological mother) gotten? Too many to count; far more than she deserved and way than she actually took advantage of. How many breaks did we get? The same number we required: NONE.

"And that has been my mistake all along. Someone asked us what we thought of the social worker. We didn't say much, but then he ranted about how he took a morning off to meet with her, and she called at the last minute to cancel. He apparently told her, 'I took time off work ... you will be here.' And ... the social worker showed up. I guess she cancelled or cut short whatever was encroaching on *their* appointment, and showed up, because he demanded it. And I realized ... she canceled on us numerous times, and we stood for it. We stood for everything they dished out, thinking it would win us consideration. The opposite was true. The opposite is almost always true."

So, yes, we are speaking out of our own pain at this point. We are losing a beloved member of our family. For no reason other than "policy." A flawed, pointless policy, I might add. But it's *their* policy and *they* have

It seems totally unfair ... it IS totally unfair ... but there's little we can do about it.