Let's bring civility back ... please

I just signed out of Facebook for what I expect to be at least a 24-hour period. And I decided to do this in the name of civility. 


Let me explain. It is easy to get discouraged at a basic lack of civility between people on the Internet. I realize that my own written words are always subject to someone else's interpretation and may not be taken as I expected them to be. The instantaneous nature of Internet communication simply exacerbates this phenomenon, because once you've written it online it's "out there" and it's hard--if not impossible--to take it back. 


This is one reason that over the years I grew to appreciate the review and editing talents that others could provide. And eventually, I helped provide that same skill to others ... hopefully in a constructive manner.


When I first worked professionally in the world of journalism, I was a little bit intimidated by others' opinions, especially if they clashed with mine. In a small town, sometimes you have to worry--what if so-and-so does not like what I say? Can we still be friends, even though we disagree on some fundamental issues? And of course, I found out that we could. It is possible to agree to disagree. As I became more confident in my editorial persona, I came to the conclusion that everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Even if they are wrong. And, in my more cynical moments, "... even if they are an asshole."


And let me say here that as a journalist and blogger I agree completely with the right to free speech. You can think, or say, whatever you want. To me, to your family, to your friends. In America, each of us has the essential freedom to say whatever they want, whether or not anyone else agrees with them. And with the diversity of thought that exists, it's pretty likely that you'll find someone, somewhere, who agrees. But don't be ignorant enough to put it out there for all the world to see and not expect some kind of backlash. 


I'm referring directly to a Facebook group that seems to have originated in the past week or so. It says:

DEAR LORD, THIS YEAR YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE ACTOR, PATRICK SWAYZIE (sic). YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE ACTRESS, FARAH (sic) FAWCETT. YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE SINGER, MICHAEL JACKSON. I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW, MY FAVORITE PRESIDENT IS BARACK OBAMA. AMEN.

Sorry--freedom of speech or not--this is sick stuff. And gee, it looks like over a million people have joined this group in a very short period of time. Some of them are my Facebook "friends." What does it say about our nation that people would think it's appropriate, or even funny, for such a group to exist, much less thrive? I can think, all right, perhaps someone put this out there as an idea, which is one thing. I don't have to agree. I can get some minor entertainment value in that they didn't even know how to spell their "favorite" actor's and actress' name. I can think it is sick. I can say, this is not a prayer I would say in church or anywhere else. And if that is what they think, so be it. But when so many people to join on, I have to wonder what is wrong with this picture. And I have to wonder if these are the kinds of "friends" I want to have, or keep.


I will say right up front that I admire Barack Obama. If you don't, that's OK. You didn't criticize me when I thought George W. Bush was an idiot. You might have thought I was wrong, but I was allowed to say it. And we could still be friends. I believe that health care reform was long overdue and I also believe that the process was drawn out beyond belief by a bunch of kooks, whose reactions to it are way overblown. I have many friends who believe the exact opposite. I can understand their point of view and respect their opinions, and I hope they can do the same for me. Over the years I have been pretty angry at a lot of people for a lot of reasons. But whatever my opinion about a myriad of issues, I don't think I've ever felt so much hatred that I wished someone or something dead. 


A friend of mine, who is Canadian, said in response to this Facebook group, "what troubles me about the things I've read and heard is the viciousness. I saw plenty of people make fun of Bush, criticize his policies, and call him an idiot or worse.

 

"But I've seen messages on email lists and facebook that say Obama is working hand-in-hand with Satan, that he's evil, that he deserves to die because he's destroying the U.S. It's beyond 'I don't agree with his ideas' or 'I don't think his ideas will work because of a, b or c.' People assume anyone who is Christian must be opposed to Obama because he is evil. I've seen posts promising God to do all they can to get rid of this servant of Satan. You'd think he was burning churches or having priests assassinated or something. How did religion and not having health care become so connected?"

Is that what it's come down to? Religion vs. health care? I don't know how these two issues became so connected, but I know that a lot of people who are sharing this kind of venom do consider themselves "Christian." I wonder what they think about at night when they ask themselves, "What Would Jesus Do?" Do they think Jesus would pray this kind of prayer? Do they think God will listen? Do they remember that Jesus stood up for all people--minorities, poor people, tax collectors, prostitutes, and lepers, as well as believers? 


I am not sure how much it will help to sign off Facebook for 24 hours. But maybe it will give me enough time to think about how else I can respond to people who are spreading so little "civility" not only on Facebook, but in coffee shops, on street corners, and on the Capitol lawns. 


And I might end up contemplating for a while, "What Would Jesus Do" in such a situation.

This is your brain on junk food ...

I read an interesting news brief the other day that explains a lot.

It turns out that junk food causes changes in brain chemistry similar to those of cocaine, according to a recent study. Here's a link to the NPR blog article that discusses the study:

http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2010/03/junk_food_jones_is_wired_in_yo.html

And here's a link to the Scripps Research Institute press release:

http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2010-03/sri-ssc032310.php

Interesting. And I wonder what the primary ingredient is in the foods mentioned as "addictive." Hmm ... could it be the ubiquitous HFCS? Nah, that's a fallacy. It's OK in moderation, you know.

In the news brief I saw, it says that common fast food meals and the heavily processed foods that we're most accustomed to eat, have been stripped of fiber and nutritional value and are actually designed to trigger our innate preferences for fat, sugar and salt.

Is it any wonder we are in the midst of an obesity epidemic?

Here's what concerns me the most: the kids. I have enough issues with my weight now. And I grew up in a time and a family where soda (or pop) was a rare commodity. The only corn syrup I knew about was Karo--the "high fructose" variety was not even developed yet--and it was certainly not anything I ingested daily. The cereals I ate for breakfast did not have marshmallows, cookie bits, or artificial flavoring and coloring in them. A pop-tart was an after-school snack, not a breakfast staple. Ice cream, too, was a special treat ... and it did not have crushed up candy pieces or hunks of cookie dough, brownies, and other highly-sweetened, fat-filled foods added to it. If I was lucky I got a dab of Sander's chocolate syrup drizzled over the top of it. I never ate at a McDonald's until I was 10 years old (and I swear the food tasted better back then, but I'm probably making that up.)

Today's kids are offered all of the above--and more--on a regular, if not daily, basis. What can they choose to drink when they walk in the door of McDonald's, Wendy's, Burger King, Taco Bell? Pop (regular or diet). Hi-C. Lemonade. Artificial flavorings, artificial colorings, artificial sweeteners ... If they are even offered milk (which I don't necessarily condone as a healthy option), it's probably sweetened and thickened and there is chocolate or strawberry flavoring added. Ugh.

I remember that my brother used to wear "husky" jeans for a while during his childhood. I look back at pictures of him at that age and I think he looks just fine. And today, he's the slenderest of the three of us. And probably what passed for "husky" jeans are just normal now. Look at the size tags on your clothing. How many of us will admit that even though we've been a size XYZ for years now, we know the scale says a higher number than it did when we first started wearing it?

There are so many overweight kids now. Many of them have been diagnosed with diseases we never heard of at their ages--diabetes, ADD/ADHD, and autism to name just a few. What is going to happen to today's kids when they start hitting adulthood ... or the dreaded middle-age spread? How many new diseases or upgrades of the ones we already know about will be in the news 20 or 30 years from now?

Food expert Dr. Gene-Jack Wang, of Brookhaven National Laboratory in Upton, New York says, "We make our food very similar to cocaine now." (http://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/03/28/fatty.foods.brain/index.html)

Chilling thoughts. I have more to say, but it will have to wait for another day.

Still speaking ...

I love it!!

Here's the YouTube video of the original "Sweet Surprise" commercial I talked about a couple of weeks ago (What is High Fructose Corn Syrup, Anyway?, 3/29/10)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVsgXPt564Q&feature=watch_response_rev

Today, someone posted this video to Facebook. I love it, especially the ending :-)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hYiEFu54o1

Take two bites ... on me!

~Marsha

The more I learn, the less I know

I attended a seminar about eating locally this afternoon at our library. That discussion actually branches into the idea of eating "responsibly," "consciously," or "sustainably" (a word that does not pass the spell-check test, but will probably soon make its way into the pop culture dictionary).

This certainly is not the first exposure I've had to such an issue. I've written before in this blog how I first heard about becoming more conscious of whatever we put into our mouths, at a La Leche League meeting nearly 30 years ago. And it's been a long, strange trip since then.

I was on a first-name basis with the term "whole foods" a decade and a half before I ever knew there was a store by the same name. I knew that eating whole grains really helped with weight loss at least 25 years before the Cheerios commercial told me so. (Of course, whole grains or not, losing weight was a lot easier when I was in my 30s than it is now.) My friends and I organized a food co-op back in 1982, so that we could get local, whole, and organic foods at more reasonable prices than they were commonly available.

Times changed. The food co-op went on for a dozen or so years, but eventually the Ann Arbor warehouse closed and we had to get our food trucked in from a bigger cooperative that was based in Wisconsin. Then it became easier to get the same items at equal or better prices at Meijer--and there was no work required. There didn't seem to be as much need for a co-op.

As we re-claimed our share money and went our separate ways (in our own cars) we all patted ourselves on the back and congratulated ourselves about how smart we were to have been on the leading edge of such a movement, and of course it was probably all due to our buying power and increased awareness that these foods were now in the local grocery stores. Or the not-so-local Sam's Club. Or the big shiny new WalMart a couple of towns away. And even as we did so, we were getting away from some of the purposes of why we started the co-op in the first place.

Over the years I have continued to try and purchase organic foods when possible, and I have continued to use whole-grains and minimally processed foods in my own kitchen, as well as choosing more whole foods when possible if I eat away from home. I have also often chosen to spend my money more locally, at our village grocery store that has a smaller selection of food, but is within walking distance of my home.

But now, almost every store has "organic" foods available. It's the new buzz word at the big chain stores--Target, Meijer, WalMart, etc. I put "organic" in quotes because somehow I wonder where WalMart gets their "organic" foods (if they are indeed, organic or if it's just another clever ploy about better living through shopping). My suspicion is that they get it the same place they get just about everything else they sell--China. Do I want food that was grown half a world away even if it does somehow meet someone else's standards of organic?

So the question is, do I really want to buy organic foods or do I  want to buy things that I know where they came from ... even if they aren't officially labeled as organic? It seems to fit better with my general outlook at this time to be purchasing local foods from local growers, even if their practices don't qualify them as organic farms.

I've tried to be more discriminating about my purchases recently. Yes, I have probably still bought some strawberries that were shipped in from Brazil. I have bought (somewhat) fresh vegetables in the middle of winter that are no way in season in Michigan, or even in a neighboring state. I've bought salad greens in a bag or a box. I've also eaten at McDonald's once in a very great while. But I still try to be more conscious of my food purchasing choices.

Getting back to today's talk, I learned that there are political undercurrents surrounding the "organic" movement, which makes it even more appropriate to put the word in quotation marks. The current trend seems to be toward "Certified Naturally Grown," a grassroots farmers group that is an alternative to the USDA Organic certification. I learned more than I want to know about Genetically Modified Organisms (GMOs) and Concentrated Animal Feeding Operations (CAFOs). Enough to either want to stick my head in the sand and say "La La La" or to learn even more about what is going on in the food world these days. I think I have my work cut out for me.

Community Supported Agriculture (CSA) is another huge trend--you purchase shares in a small, private farm and in return you get a certain amount of food each week throughout the season. It's very popular in southeastern Michigan and more and more small farms are participating in such a venture. Today's speaker is a CSA farmer in Manchester and I am aware of several more existing and emerging CSAs in the immediate area. Visit www.localharvest.org and simply enter your ZIP Code to find out more about some of the ways you can be a part of this movement.

I think I'm going to be coming back full circle to the food co-op of 25+ years ago. And I think I might like it.

OMG ... This is why I don't own a car

Once upon a time, I used to have computer issues. I would go and stand near a computer and it would suddenly do crazy things that no one else could get it to do. Honest. It was weird. It wasn't a phobia; I was not intimidated by computers--but perhaps in my enthusiasm I made them a little too crazy. I don't know.

I started to jokingly remark that I must have had some kind of personal magnetism that affected the secret inner workings of my computers. Obviously, however, that "magnetism," if that's what it was, has faded over the years (along with many other of my favorable personal traits). I don't have too many occasions anymore to blame my magnetism for much of anything.

Now, I am starting to wonder if there is some kind of black cloud hanging over my head when it comes to vehicles. This has been a particularly frustrating car-week.

As I've mentioned before here, I no longer own a vehicle. After leasing six cars in 13 years, I came to the end of my last lease in May 2008 and walked away from a car payment. At first, I thought it was probably temporary, but it has become a permanent, or at least semi-permanent, situation and I am usually quite content with this turn of events. Occasionally I need to borrow a car to carry out an errand, but most of the time I just walk, or go along for the ride. It's OK.

Today, I had a reason to need a vehicle. David is gone for the weekend, so I got up early to take him to work so I could drive his car. I need to interject here that I have a love-hate relationship with his 1994 Buick Park Avenue. It's a great, comfortable car to ride in. I swear it has more room in the back seat than your typical station wagon. But when I drive it, I feel like a little old lady who can barely see over the dashboard. And, it has a quirky mechanical problem that makes it inexplicably refuse to start periodically.

After dealing with this for at least a year, David still hasn't figured out what is wrong or how to remedy the problem, other than telling me to jump on the back bumper several times and then it will "probably" start. Call me crazy, but for some reason, I don't feel like doing that. So, rather than deal with this, I usually choose not to drive his car. But it seemed the most reasonable solution today, so I decided to take a chance.

Wrong answer. After driving the car back from Ann Arbor, out to work at my girlfriend's garage sale, and then into town to pick up some lunch, the Buick simply wouldn't start. I walked home with my lunch (I have been known to state emphatically that I won't drive the Buick anywhere I can't walk home from, and I feel that has now been validated) and waited about 45 minutes before heading back to try again. No luck.

I called Stuart. He didn't answer so I sat in the car and read my mail for a while. I tried again, but it still wouldn't start. This time I got hold of Stu, and he walked up to meet me. After jumping on the back bumper for me (it must be a guy thing, I swear), it still wouldn't start. So he tried starting it. Being a good mom and hopefully a good sport as well, I obligingly jiggled the front bumper for good measure. Again, nothing.

I decided to leave the car and walked home to sort things out. Now, if you are a strictly-by-the-book or law-enforcement type person, please cover your ears, say "la la la la la la la la laa," and skip to the next paragraph. I decided to take the improperly-licensed but semi-mechanically sound Taurus that has been sitting in our driveway for sale for a month or so, back out to the garage sale. I took back streets and studiously made sure to obey all traffic laws, so as not to draw any attention to myself.

Of course, this still left the Buick parked on Main Street. Fortunately I did not get a ticket for being parked more than two hours in the business district. But when I got home from the garage sale--cold, wind-blown, and tired--I trekked back to see if the Old Grey Mare (sing the rest of the song to get the full implication) felt like starting now. Fortunately, she did. I drove her the two blocks home and parked in our driveway. There she will stay for the remainder of the weekend.

Meanwhile, I needed to drive to Chelsea this evening to help my mom finish up her tax preparation, which was inadvertently neglected during her recent move. Since I wouldn't take the Buick, and was unwilling to risk legal action with the Taurus, I borrowed Arianne's van when she got home from work. I got in, looked around, and there were no keys. Rather than have her turn around and come back, I just grabbed the extra key to her van (the one she leaves here in case she misplaces both of her other keys) and headed off.

I had a nice dinner and chat with Mom and we discussed what we'd need to do to get her taxes filed on time. I got ready to head home and walked to the van with my key in hand. The door would not unlock. WTF? At first, I thought I was just being obtuse or had the key in backwards or something. But no. I tried every door with that key, every which way, and it didn't work. Evidently, a "spare" key works fine in the ignition, but it needs a keypad to open the door. I do not understand why this happens (What if you lock your key-pad in the car? What if your battery dies while your car is locked?), but I can now attest that it does. Stupid car.

I go back to Mom, who had been watching me from her upstairs window, and I'm soon asking to borrow my fourth car in one day. I drive Mom's car home, fortunately without incident (although the check-engine light mysteriously blinked on when I was part way home. The car has just this week rolled over 5,000 miles. So I chose to ignore it. Don't tell Mom.) Despite my extra-cautious driving, I was seriously terrified that at any moment a deer might decide to leap into my path, or that someone would pull out in front of me for no apparent reason, or some other freak accident would top off my vehicular curse-day...

You see, I don't want a car. What kind of havoc could I wreak if I actually did own a car? That has to be way more trouble than any computer I've ever met.

What'll it be?

Well, my week of "frenzied" blogging (which I readily admit probably is only "frenzied" by my own half-assed standards) has gone by and I've been coasting for another full week. I have, however, been accomplishing things elsewhere in my life.

I watched an online video called "Affluenza" which can be found at http://www.mefeedia.com/movie/25478650. Take time out of your schedule to sit and watch it yourself. It is almost an hour long, but very worthwhile and eye-opening viewing. It's all about how we have bought into the media's insistence that we NEED STUFF. Mall shopping, the subtle and not-so-subtle advertising messages, our consumer-oriented culture are all part of this PBS production. The most amazing part, I thought, was the fact that I didn't exactly realize until I was about 2/3 of the way through it and they started talking about "by 1999" ... this video was actually made 13 years ago. 

Things have only gotten worse since then. 

And as much as I've tried to become counter-culture or anti-culture when it comes to the consume, consume, consume message, I recognized a lot of myself in there. 

The show also led me to actually read a book that I've owned for more than a year ... that could definitely impact the course of the rest of my life. The book is titled, "Your Money or Your Life" and it is all about changing your attitudes toward and your relationship with money. 

It is not a quick read. I am, in fact, reading it with a highlighter close by. I haven't done that since college. And I think I will have to pursue the book and the program it contains with a similar doggedness. It asks tough questions ... starting in the first chapter. 

It first asks you to determine how much money you have made in your lifetime. You have to be honest with yourself here. It's easy enough (at my age, anyway) to add up the numbers on the Social Security statement that they send you a couple times each year. But what about all those years that I have zeros on my statement? I know I received undeclared income those years from babysitting, from typing for other people, garage sales, and other sources. How much money has really passed through my hands in the past 38 years since I began working? Yikes. The answer to that question could be scary enough, but the next question is ...

... What do you have to show for it? Oh, yes. Those heaps of clutter I talked about a couple of weeks ago. Piled into a house that I've lived in for 32 of those 38 years. But take that a step further. Put a value on that clutter. All the stuff that you have hidden in piles, bins, drawers, closets, garages, tool sheds, storage units, etc. What is it worth? Bleh. Just the thought of going through all that stuff is exhausting to me. 

And the scariest part of all is how much do you owe? And what is your net worth? In our case, at least, I hope that the figure will turn out to be a positive one. The bad news is that it doesn't qualify us for one of those bailouts you hear about on the radio, "... If you owe more than $10,000 in credit card debt, we can help you ..." We don't have a lot, but obviously we are better off than a lot of people. 

Where do we go from here? What will it be, my money or my life? Well, I'm just getting started on Chapter Two. I'm hoping the answer will be my life. And I will keep you posted. 

~Marsha