You know how sometimes you can read a quote that you’ve seen several times before, but at that particular moment it really speaks to you? That happened to me last week when someone posted the following tidbit on Facebook:
“There comes a time in life when you have to let go of all the pointless drama and the people who create it; and surround yourself with the people who make you laugh so hard that you forget the bad and focus solely on the good. After all, life is too short to be anything but happy.”
Wow. That really hit home I have had mega-drama swirling around in my head for several months now. Some drama in life is inevitable, of course. But far too much of what goes on in the name of business, organizations, politics, or even family life is definitely of the “pointless” variety. And I have decided I need to separate myself from that as much as possible, because … yes, life is too short to be anything but happy.
If that seems a bit Pollyanna-ish, perhaps it is. But I have to say that in the midst of drama and yes, even sadness over the past few months, I have still experienced a great deal of joy. And I prefer to keep it that way rather than let the sadness drag me down.
Drama can be addictive, though. You get caught up in it and you start thinking about it all the time and you start talking about it to anyone and everyone. It becomes a part of you. And it’s also contagious. Like a nasty virus, you start spreading it everywhere you go.
Five years ago, I had a co-worker named Jessica. We weren’t close so I didn’t hear her complain, but she obviously had her share of burdens. She was quiet and never shared much about herself with me. I knew she was a single mom; she had a couple of teenage kids; she probably struggled with money like a lot of us do. Like me, she was unhappy with her job, but she was grateful to have it so she kept on working, despite the drama and the contention and the fact that she obviously would’ve rather been just about anywhere else.
One day, Jessica didn’t show up for work. The office was buzzing, as an office does when there’s some drama afoot, with theories of what crisis had happened to her that day. We later learned that her young son had found her unresponsive in bed; she never regained consciousness. She was probably 10 years younger than me, and all I could think about was how sad she was and I didn’t want to be that way. I realized how short and precious our time is here. And we never know how suddenly it can be all over.
Rather than end up in a similar situation, I left the job that was stressing me out and creating all sorts of negative drama in my life. It wasn’t an easy decision, even though I knew it was the right one, because it was downright scary to be leaving the security of a decent-paying job with benefits. It was also something that had almost become my identity. (I’ll never forget the time my husband introduced himself saying, “I’m married to the Enterprise.”) But the daily drama was too intense. I realized I had caught myself up in it and was making too many personal sacrifices just to stay on that enticing stage.
Throughout my life, I’ve tended to be a chronic volunteer. My husband claims I don’t have the word “no” in my vocabulary. I get passionately dedicated to a cause and I just can’t stop saying “yes,” even when that cause starts to incite more drama than I need at any given moment. And so it is at this point in my life, that I realize I need to separate myself from some of the commotion in my life and focus myself back on my faith, family, and friends.
It seems that there are people who seem to feel better if they can create drama and discontent around them. In fostering that drama, they can eventually destroy an ideology and even, sometimes, the organization that was built around that philosophy.
It’s that pointless-drama thing, and yet it’s hard for the people who feel a commitment to certain principles or causes to simply let go. Sometimes you want to stick around to take a stand or make it right or fight the injustice, but you can’t spend your life butting heads. That's one thing I've definitely learned over the years.
A dear friend who taught me much about faith passed away this summer. I still miss her every day. And I especially miss being able to run across the street to ask her to share her priceless wisdom when I’m facing some kind of an issue. However, I know very well what she would say about the drama I’m in right now—get away. Fast.
I talked in my last column about making some resolutions at this time of year. So I’m drawing my line in the sand. It’s time to remember that two-letter word. Rather than get sucked into further drama, I will walk away. I’ll surround myself instead with those people who make me smile—and laugh.
And next time I see this happening, I hope it takes me even less time to listen to that inner guidance and say “no.”
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